If you’ve been following my diary, you may know that I’m trying to lose about 40 pounds or so. I am indeed an overweight mom. I’ve faced my own self-esteem issues more than I’ve faced scrutiny from others, but still, I’ve gotten my fair share of “you poor thing” looks when I’m talking about weight.
Today I read a great blog by Myra Turner, one of our Parents bloggers. If you haven’t seen it, you’ve got to check it out. It talked about being too fat to have a baby. This is an issue that is near to my heart. I was 187 pounds when I got pregnant with my second child. I’d already gained 60 pounds with my first baby and most of that never came off. With my second pregnancy, I threw up twice a day for four months. So by the end of the pregnancy, I’d only gained an additional 13 pounds. Still, the weight I carried from the beginning caused me a great deal of stress. Perhaps that is because when I went for my five-month ultrasound, I was told I’d have to get a specialized ultrasound at another lab because of my “added weight.” Can you imagine my humiliation, sitting there with my husband in the room, just waiting to find out the sex of my baby, when—whamo!—I get told I’m too fat for an accurate reading.
Luckily for my self-esteem, they had predicted the sex of the baby with the first ultrasound—and they were right. And the technician at the specialized ultrasound office was confused why they had sent me there. If he had assumed it was because of my weight…if he had remarked at all about my extra “girth” I may have broken down altogether that day instead of enjoying seeing the beautiful pictures of my baby girl inutero.
I also heard that women who are heavier often have larger babies. My heaviest baby was 7 pounds 1 ounce. Here’s why this ticks me off—because women come in all shapes and sizes. And more emphasis seems to be put on appearance lately than on health. I’m glad that many moms are thin and can shop at fancy maternity stores geared toward the teeny tiny. I wasn’t one of them. A lot of moms aren’t “one of them.” Yes, I think moms need to be as healthy as possible before conceiving, during pregnancy, and after delivery. But just because a mom isn’t at an ideal weight, that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have a baby.
It broke my heart to read Myra’s blog and to hear this mother’s tale. Discrimination comes in many forms—sadly, this is one of them. The world needs more good parents—regardless of their physical size.
Myra’s Blog: Too Fat to Have a Baby