Twenty years ago, I didn’t read Newsweek Magazine – at least I didn’t read it willingly. At the age of 14, I had more important things to read – like entertainment magazines that highlighted the upcoming videos on MTV ( remember when MTV actually showed videos – sigh), Anyway, twenty years or so ago, there was an infamous Newsweek cover story that highlighted the fact that a 40 year old woman was more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to get married.
Now, you may be sitting here and doing the math – 20 years ago it was 1986. Can you imagine if they ran such a cover today? I’m still finding it hard to believe that this was a cover story on a NEWSWEEK of all the magazines out there, Newsweek hardly seems to be the one that caters to the tabloid mentality. But they did.
Jane Austen? Marriage Goals?
The article was a direct response to the feminist movement and it challenged the many schools of thought on the subject of marriage. Such as what happened to a woman who’s top goal in life was not marriage? Cam you imagine the fireworks or do you remember them? I do – there were actual debates in my freshman English class about the challenge to the Jane Austen era of thinking where marriage was concerned.
Can you imagine this discussion? Our instructor actually made a few salient points on our dim view of marriage – especially where young people are concerned. For example, when a woman under the age of 25 espouses wanting to get married – many of us look at her and wonder why she doesn’t have something better to do or aspire to?
Yet, we’re hypocrites because when a young man decides he wants to marry, have children and settle down to having a family and a successful home life – we applaud him as being smart, direct and understanding what he wants from life. Is this because we expect so little from our young men and yet we expect so much more from our young women?
The Adversaries of Life
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a profound individualist – note I did not say feminist or masculinist (is that even a word?) I think people should be able to pursue their dreams whether they include marriage, career or something else. That being said, when young men and women want to pursue marriage at any age – they should be sure of their goals both individually and jointly.
Oh and let me say this – I don’t judge people based on what age they want to get married at – but when the 24 year old with the five year old kid tells me she wants to get married because it will make everything all right – that’s when I roll my eyes. Marriage doesn’t repair problems. It doesn’t make problems magically go away. In fact – even the most devoted, loving couples who have a lot of work in front of them when it comes to marrying and integrating their lives.
We talked about some bad advice where getting married is concerned and we’ve talked about why people get married – oh and as for those who think that getting married is a goal in life – it’s not a bad goal. But it’s only one goal – the next goal should be to build a successful married life, a happy home life and to improve yourselves – who gets to say that’s a bad goal? It’s one of the goals in my life.
Oh and to Newsweek?
Pfft.