I do not want to imply that jealousy is can only be an issue for single parent families, but I do think that it is one of those realities that we can wrestle with. It can peep up and rear its ugly green head in so many different ways for both our children and ourselves that facing down the jealousy beast can help to make for a happier, healthier family.
Recently, one of my daughters and I were talking about jealousy as an “issue.” We decided that there are so many ways that single parent families can feel as though we don’t have what other people have or that we “want” what someone else wants. As a single parent, we may wish we had a our old lives back or we may have lost a spouse or partner to a new person: JEALOUSY; we might not be able to afford the bigger house, or have all of the “stuff” that we see other people accumulating: JEALOUSY; our children might feel left out of notice that things seem better at the neighbor’s house or at the other parent’s: JEALOUSY; any time we let ourselves feel like victims or long to be living and leading another life—we are opening up the door and letting that jealousy sneak in.
Acknowledging jealousy and trying to figure out what and why it is a trigger for us can help. Sometimes just digging in and looking honestly at our jealous feelings can help us to shine enough light on them to let go. One of the things I told my daughter when we were talking about it is that often just reminding ourselves that just because someone else has something doesn’t mean we can’t have it too. Jealousy can often be banished just by opening up our minds and making room in our lives for different ways of looking at things. I also think that gratitude and appreciation can be a great way to banish the little green monster. This may be harder for our young children to get—it takes a while before developmentally we can learn to be grateful and thankful instead of wanting what we want in the moment. As adults, however, we can work on our own jealousy issues, and gradually help our children to feel better about our families rather than looking to what has been lost or what we don’t have.
Also: Jealousy and the Single Parent
When Our Kids Feel Jealous or Hate our Jobs