We are all born into this world with a sinful nature. You can see it in the demanding toddler, the mouthy preschooler, the mischievous grade-schooler… This nature needs to be tamed in us by discipline. Discipline and punishment are a bit different. In looking to the American Heritage Dictionary, the first definition of discipline is, “Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.” When we look at the definition of punish, it says, “To subject to a penalty for an offense, sin, or fault.” So what should our objective be as parents?
My aim is never to intentionally hurt my children. I understand that in teaching them and correcting them, they may face hurt feelings as a result. Whether you believe in a spank on the behind, or logical consequences (example: Susie hurt her brother so Susie gets to help her brother feel better), discipline ought to be done in love and control over your own emotions so that you are more likely to gain the respect of your child.
The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:4, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” In other words, don’t drive your kids to anger but rather raise them, advising them of the Lord. If you have children, you have probably seen that when you talk at them, they may tend to shut down. Children often know more than we give them credit for. Take time, explaining that you love them too much to see them sin in such a way. Tell them the potential consequences of the sin too.
Try to remember we have had decades to come to the point we are—and we’re still making mistakes and learning from them. Try to look at your child’s “offense” as a learning opportunity for them.
Proverbs 3:13 says, “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor detest His correction; for whom the LORD loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.” Trying to explain to a young child that you discipline them because you love them may not be easy, but it is significant. It is important that we are consistent so our children learn that their inappropriate action is not okay. Proverbs 13:24 tells us, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” We discipline our children because we love them, just like our heavenly Father does so out of love. With your rod of discipline guide your child in the way that they should go. Doing this quickly will hopefully make the most of the situation, allow for a repentant heart and the ability to grow.
Please check out my other Christian parenting blogs from this series:
Getting into Your Kid’s Business
Honoring Your Mother and Father
Teaching Our Children Self-Respect
All Scripture references quoted are from the NKJV.