My husband and I chose to spend Mother’s Day with his parents this year. They were willing to come to our house, which worked great for me, because our baby is always happier in the comfort of our home.
While my daughter napped, my mother-in-law and I relaxed in front of the TV (finally, I was able to watch TLC instead of ESPN). Our husbands slaved away in the kitchen, working to prepare a delicious Mother’s Day meal. We admired the flowers we’d been given and enjoyed the feeling of putting our feet up. After lunch, the whole gang headed to a nearby park to enjoy some fresh air. My brother and sister-in-law met up with us later in the evening. My day wasn’t romantic, but I didn’t mind.
As I talked with my friends who are also first-time moms, I realized that not everyone is okay with including extended family in their celebrations.
Many mothers enjoying their first Mother’s Day took a different route than we did. Their husbands brought them breakfast in bed. They went out to a romantic lunch. They spent time together with their own little family.
I get it. I totally do. Although we included our extended family in our Mother’s Day celebration this year, there are times when the last thing I want to do is include my parents or my in-laws in our festivities. Sometimes I enjoy taking my husband out for his birthday and having it just be the two (or three) of us. Next Christmas, when my daughter participates in gift-opening, we might choose to stay at home rather than travel.
This can be hard for some extended families to accept. I’m sure some mothers think, “Hey, just because my son got married doesn’t mean I’m not his mother anymore. He should be spending Mother’s Day with me,” or, “We’ve spent every Thanksgiving together since my daughter was born. Why should it be any different now that she’s married and has her own child?”
I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to handle this. It really comes down to what your family wants to do (and when I say “your family,” I mean you, your spouse, and your children). It’s perfectly acceptable, even fun, to begin your own family traditions.
Do your holiday celebrations include extended family?