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Do We Expect More Responsibility From Our Kids?

One of the stereotypes of the single parent household is that the children are expected to take on more responsibility and at an earlier age than in the “traditional” two-parent household. While I haven’t conducted an official study, I have looked around at the other single parent families I know and made my own observations about whether this might be true…or not…

I think that there is definitely the opportunity for kids to take on more responsibility in a single parent home. In my own home, my kids have more of a say and more influence on how the household is ran than if there was another adult in the picture. But, I have been fortunate enough to support my family financially, and to care for the household as well so my kids haven’t needed to contribute to the household finances or do chores like cooking and cleaning so that I can work–I’ve managed to handle it all, so I think my kids have had a very comparable upbringing to their peers in terms of chores and such. They definitely haven’t had to pick up any “slack” that might have been taken on by a second parent; I’ve taken on that extra work and responsibility.

I actually know of a couple single parent homes where it has been just the opposite–the kids have been able to get away with assuming LESS responsibility and have let mom support them for much longer than I think is considered typical. Whether it is because the parent feels guilty and over-compensates, or the lack of motivation on the part of the kids, I don’t know–but they couldn’t be accused of taking on MORE responsibility. This has
led me to the conclusion that it isn’t necessarily about whether there is one or two parents in the home, but the parenting style, temperament and personal choices that are made by each parent and family situation.

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