I’m a big fan of “What Not to Wear” on TLC. I love watching people discover a whole new positive self-image as stylists Clinton and Stacy show them how dressing to suit their bodies makes them look more confident. Makeup artist Carmindy and hair stylist Nick also add to the overall look, and it’s a fun show to watch.
One of the things I like is the respect Clinton and Stacy show to religious beliefs. They’ve had several Mormons appear, and they are always careful to make sure the hem lengths are where they should be and they never mock or ridicule. They had a lady on who lived a vegan lifestyle and they didn’t suggest fur or leather of any kind to her.
One episode I remember clearly featured a nanny with long blond hair. She went through the whole process well, choosing new clothes and taking the suggestions that were given to her. However, when it came time to have her hair cut, she absolutely refused to even let Nick touch it. Poor Nick – he was trying so hard to understand why she wouldn’t let him cut it, and she refused to give him an answer. Finally he thanked her for her time and left the salon.
The camera then cut to the nanny, and she was proud of herself for not letting Nick infringe on her religious beliefs. I about choked in surprise. This was a religious belief?
If she had said that to Nick, he would have completely understood and accepted it. Instead, she chose to give him a hard time, frustrating him in doing his job, and then she acted like he was trying to bully her into something. Nick is a good man, and he respects religious beliefs just as much as Clinton and Stacy do. No one on that show will make you do anything you truly don’t want to do, and if you explain that you’re following your beliefs, they back right off. This nanny obviously didn’t understand the importance of sharing your beliefs with others.
This made me wonder.
How often do we get annoyed with people for not respecting our standards, when in reality, we’ve never taken the time to explain those standards to them? Do we get mad at them for sharing a dirty e-mail joke or do we tell them that we’d prefer not to be included on the forward list? If we never put our foot down and tell our friends how we’d like to be treated, they will never know, and then the responsibility falls on our heads.
Sometimes we don’t like to share our beliefs because we fear people will think we’re trying to convert them. We may also fear that others will think we’re trying to be better than they are. You can share your beliefs in ways that won’t make your friends feel preached to, but on the other hand, if it did turn into a missionary moment, is that so bad?
The next time someone acts inappropriately around you, take a moment to mention that you’d prefer they not include you in it. They’ll understand and they’ll respect you for it.
Related Blogs:
Are You Worried About Others’ Perceptions?
Religion Helps Teens Make Good Choices