In some marriages, one spouse holds the “purse strings” (or the checkbook and passbook) while the other knows very little about the financial situation or has very little control over it. For some couples, this works fine because one spouse may prefer not to have the responsibility while the gladly takes it on. For other couples money can become an issue of control in their marriage.
It seems like there should be a happy medium. Even if one person deals with the bills, balances the checkbook, applies a certain percentage of the household income to savings, and generally takes care of financial issues, the other person should still know what their financial outlook is. There is no reason the couple cannot still share the more important details, even if mundane little issues such as paying the trash collection bill, don’t rate a discussion.
Most people would be uncomfortable having no idea how much money is the bank, how much is spent on bills in a given month, how much goes into savings or investments, and how much disposable income is available. Who could blame them? I can’t think of anyone who would accept such an arrangement in a business partnership, so why should anybody accept it in a marriage?
Both partners have the right to know what their financial situation is, and that’s true even in cases where one spouse provides the largest percentage of income. Even if the spouse who controls the purse strings isn’t hiding anything, it creates distance between people. Money can cause serious relationship problems, especially if a sense of distrust develops.
This may not be an issue for those who have “his and hers” finances, but in marriages where it’s all intended to be “our money” it may well create problems. Of course, every couple has to develop a system that works for them, but no one should ever feel awkward about questioning the state of their own finances.
On a practical note, even if one spouse generally deals with finances, the other should be able to step in at a moment’s notice if necessary. In case of emergency, the other person needs to be aware of all accounts, account numbers, assets, sources of debt, taxes, and any other issues that could become a problem if the one who is usually in charge of the money is unfortunately somehow incapacitated.
If you don’t know what’s going on with the money in your own household, it would probably be a good idea to find out.