“Coordination” is not always something that comes easily for divorced or separated (or never-partnered) co-parents. While some of us do manage to get along and make some joint parenting decisions, others of us find it to be a real struggle. This time of year, one of the issues that comes up is gifts–who gets what? Do you talk about your gift list for your child and divide things up? Is it each parent on his own? Do you ever go together on a large, joint gift? Does one parent just contribute financially and the other buys all the gifts?
My ex-husband and I generally have a little chat just to make sure we are not doubling up or duplicating anything for any of our children. We have never really done anything “jointly” and he tends to coordinate things on his side with his extended family–and I do things on my end. Over the years, my kids have also gotten a bit savvy and they tell different people on each “side” different versions of what they want. That way they have taken some “control” of trying to eliminate any duplication. In our situation, there really are very different gift-giving cultures on each side–me and my extended family tend to be much more practical and value consumable gifts like food, gift certificates to dinners out, etc., while my kids’ dad’s family tend to go in for more expensive, traditional “gift” presents.
I would love to hear from other families about whether they are able to coordinate on the gift-giving or whether they go solo? Have you ever gone into together on a large joint or “Santa” gift? What works best for your family or are you still working out the kinks for how to handle the holiday gift-giving in a single parent family?
Also: Single Parent Holiday Tip–Break it Into Do-able Chunks
The Stress and Strain of Last-minute Requests
Try to Keep Parenting and Financial Discussions Separate