I found out from watching “The View” this week that GQ magazine came out with an article about a couple who bargain for sex. He does certain chores in exchange for sex.
There are a couple of ways to look at this. If you really want to find something good about it, I guess you can understand how it meets each other’s needs. She needs help around the house and he needs…well, we know the answer to that one.
But why does it have to be a bargaining tool? Why can’t couples just meet each other’s needs without it being like a “payment”? Because the truth is, that both chores and intimacy are important to every marriage and are beneficial to both spouses.
The idea of making this into a sort of payment plan or a form of manipulation really takes away from the true inner workings of a marriage. Aren’t we supposed to be helpers and lovers to each other? Isn’t that just part of marriage?
I don’t want to downplay what may work for another couple. But I think it sends the wrong message. It dismisses the reality of give and take in a marriage. It makes the relationship more like an expectation, that if I give then I expect something back in return.
And to be quite honest, it seems a bit selfish. While it may seem like both are getting what they want, it is coming from a self-serving angle. It is less about meeting the needs of the spouse and more about meeting your own needs.
Could I get more help around the house if I implemented this plan? I have to be honest, I might. But it would take away from the true foundation of our marriage. We have learned to give without expecting something in return. To me, that is the best foundation to any marriage.
What do you think about exchanging chores for intimacy? Or perhaps you have found other ways to “compromise” for one another…please share.
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