I wrote a blog not too long ago about my oldest son trying to kiss me a little too long and a little too much like his daddy does for my comfort level. There were some responses to that blog that got me thinking about kissing in general. It led me to ponder the question: “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
We are a big family of kissers, we kiss on the mouth, on the cheek, on the forehead, basically anywhere on your face is fair game. Imagine my surprise one day when a friend of mine stated that she does not kiss her parents on the mouth. I guess it took me a bit off guard because I had never really met anyone who didn’t kiss their parents on the mouth. She said that she of course kissed them on the mouth as a small child, but as she grew she just never felt comfortable with kissing on the mouth and would always give her parents kisses on the cheek.
Imagine her surprise when I shared with her that not only do I, at 35, still kiss my mom and my dad on the lips, but that I also kiss my husband’s grandpas and his one grandma (the other is not a kisser) on the lips. I still kiss my 85-year old grandma on the lips also. My friend couldn’t quite get over that I kissed people who aren’t related to me and of the opposite sex, on the lips. She couldn’t quite understand how I kiss my dad on the lips when I am in my 30’s. She said to her that seemed odd. Funny, because to me, not kissing my parents or my loved ones on the lips seemed odd.
This entire discussion about kissing our parents or other loved ones on the lips got me thinking just why it seems strange to not kiss our parents on the lips, even when we are grown. Is it a cultural thing, a comfort thing or does it go deeper than those?
I believe that I am a parental lip-kisser because I was raised watching my parents kiss their own parents. I am a parental lip-kisser because I have never felt that kissing your own mother or father on the mouth is a weird or an uncomfortable thing to do. Maybe it is because my parents always let me know that there is nothing wrong with kissing your parents on the mouth.
I never did dive any deeper into exactly why my friend doesn’t kiss her parents on the lips, she just shared she didn’t feel comfortable nor did she think it was appropriate. I never thought to ask exactly why, it was just her choice.
My boys are lip kissers and I hope they always will feel comfortable kissing me on the lips, like I do with my parents. I intend to raise them to think that it is okay to do so.
I ask now: Are you a lip kisser? Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Do you kiss your father on the lips? How about extended family? If you don’t, please share with me why. If you do kiss on the lips, why do you kiss on the lips? Were you raised to do so?
For some odd reason, this lip kissing issue with parents and children has me intrigued. Please share.