I recently got together with a friend who was sharing a secret to her happy marriage. She divulged to me the frequency of her intimate relations with her husband and how in return he met so many of her needs. Those needs weren’t physical, nor were they emotional. They were doing chores around the house.
Well I can definitely attest to the fact that I would love to see the dishes emptied, the laundry thrown in or the bathroom cleaned. But does my husband know this? Or do I just assume that he knows?
You see, my friend and her husband talked about the ways they wanted love communicated in their marriage. He told her what his biggest needs were and she told him what her biggest needs were. When they fulfilled each other’s needs, everyone was happy.
That is really a pretty simple formula. I mean, there is nothing crazy about it but yet so few people do this. They aren’t willing to do what is necessary to meet their spouse’s need, yet they want their own needs met.
It is give and take in a marriage and a huge part of making it a good one is meeting each other’s needs. Sometimes we assume what our spouse’s greatest needs are but we could be very wrong. Or it could be that they have other needs that are equally important to them.
One of the needs I know that my husband has is spending time together. He loves when we go to stores together or even if I ask him to pick up the kids for me, he would rather I come along. He loves when we run errands, go out to dinner or just lay together in the hammock. If I don’t meet those needs, I won’t be communicating love to him.
My greatest needs are in the way of help around the house. But while I may be in tune to his needs, it doesn’t necessarily mean he is with mine. So we need to have a discussion where we lay it all out on the table and tell each other what we can do to strengthen our marriage.
What about your marriage? Do you know what your spouse’s greatest needs are and do you meet them? Does your spouse know yours? Take time to discuss it with your spouse and you will find that it makes you both happy.
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