Do you know someone who parents out of fear? Perhaps you are that type of person. My mother was somewhat like that in her parenting. She would make some of her decisions based on what “might” happen. The world was a dangerous place (which is true to a degree) and so she tried to avoid my becoming a victim. The problem was that she never allowed me to really grow up the way I should have.
In fact, when I met my husband I didn’t know how to cook or even how to drive. It took my husband teaching my how to drive to get my license and as far as cooking…well, it’s better than it was but I will definitely never be a gourmet chef.
Even to this day, my mother offers her opinions about decisions I make as a parent and I can still hear that fear in her voice. The first time I let my children walk home from school or go to the park to play with their friends…she made it clear that it was too dangerous.
Do I fret every time my children walk out the door? Well fear definitely does attempt to creep in. I try to be balanced in allowing my children to do age-appropriate things but at the same time, protect them as much as I can.
I have a feeling that I will be gaining an even better understanding of my mother’s fears as we venture into this new season of my son driving. My husband had put off getting our son onto our insurance and not because of the cost (although, you can only imagine how much higher our insurance is going to be), but because like me, he is battling some fears of his own.
Finally yesterday he did it. We both looked at each other. Okay, this is it. He can officially, legally drive. So we took a baby step. We allowed him to park the car in the back. If you could just picture my husband and me, we probably looked ridiculous. We watched him from the front door as he got into the car and drove off. He simply drove around the block, into our alley and to the back driveway. But you would have thought he was driving off to China.
I told my husband that I don’t think I can do this. I don’t think I can handle handing over those keys to him. Maybe it’s just me being a bit overboard and you can’t relate. But these are some real fears and I have to learn to get hold of them.
This weekend we will be testing him out and allow him to drive to his cousin’s house. My stomach is fluttering even as I type that. But I don’t want to parent out of fear. I want to allow my children to enter each new stage as it is appropriate and with confidence. They don’t need their mom crying in the corner.
What fears do you deal with in parenting?
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