I’ve mentioned before that my husband is the health nut and I’m the sugar addict. Lately, I’ve made major changes to my lifestyle and am no longer eating sugar. I’ve lost fifty pounds. How great is that?
Because my husband understands how important it is to be healthy, he’s supported me all along the way and has never once sabotaged what I’m doing—we’re doing it together. But you know what, I’ve had friends tell me, “I’m trying to lose weight, but my husband eats junk food in front of me all the time.” Or, “My husband laughs when I tell him I’m going to lose weight. He says I’ll never succeed.”
You know what? That’s not only a shame—it should be a crime.
Entering a battle to lose weight is hard, and it takes all the support you can get. If your spouse, the person you turn to for your support, isn’t in your corner, it not only makes it that much harder to stay the course, but it damages your relationship. If your spouse doesn’t believe in you, that’s a death knell for the relationship.
But what if you’ve heard him say “I’m going to lose weight” about a thousand times, he’s never succeeded, you’re tired of the whole rigamarole, and you want him to just knock it off? Shouldn’t you tell him so you can just get on with your lives? Nope.
It’s not your place to decide if he is or is not going to do it this time. He may have had a breakthrough moment where he now has the motivation to succeed. As his spouse, you should show your support. If you must have junk food, eat it while he’s not home or while you’re out running errands. Keep your comments positive. Don’t focus on the times he’s failed—notice and point out the healthy choices he’s making.
I think it’s safe to say we all want our spouses to be healthy. I also think it’s safe to say that when we are feeling less than supportive, it’s because we either fear being left behind, or we hate seeing them fail and becoming depressed. If you are on their team, supporting them and cheering them on, their chances of success will increase dramatically, and then those things won’t happen. And just maybe, if you do it with them, you will benefit too—and think of all that time you’d be spending together, with a common goal. That is a huge relationship booster.
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