An older gentleman remarked to me recently that parents today spend a lot of time talking at their kids instead of talking to them. He said he understood that with parents working longer hours today it was sometimes hard to find time to talk to our kids but felt we should make an effort to do so. As I thought about this remark, I realized that he’s right. We communicate with our kids all the time, yes, but how much of that time is spent talking to them? Many times, we’re barking orders, fussing, nagging, giving directives.
After my conversation with this gentleman, I started to notice my conversations with Tyler to see if I mainly talk at him or to him. I would estimate that I spend about 40% of my time talking to him and the rest of the time talking at him, mainly giving directives.
When we take the time to talk to our kids, we can create special memories. A few weeks ago, I had to interview a member of the Alabama House of Representatives and I had my assistant, Tyler, with me. He’s gone on interviews with me before but for some reason he was on this interview trip afterwards. Now it was his turn to interview me. While sitting on a park bench, my son interviewed me for about 45 minutes. And you know it was nice. He asked me many questions about my childhood that brought back some really pleasant memories. Things I had forgotten about. Talking to him, I got to share with him these special memories and a part of my life. I hope it somehow brought us closer together. My goal is to make sure I spend more time talking to him and decrease the amount of time I spend talking at him.
See also:
The 3 C’s Of Effective Communication
How Well Does Your Family Communicate?