There is an ongoing debate in the world of families as to whether birth order actually matters. I thought it might be fun to consider a twist on this ongoing battle and ask whether or not, as a parent, we treat and react to our children differently based on where they fall in the birth order? Whether it is intentional or accidental, I’m willing to bet that most of us react differently to our children based not only on personality—but according to where they fall in the “chain of command” of our family structure.
My eldest daughter got pushed out of the nest very quickly. By the time she was 15 months old, my second daughter was born and barely more than a year later, my youngest son was born. She went from being the darling, longed-for only baby to a big sister in a matter of months! As much as I tried to carve out time to be with her and attend to her as a unique little girl—I really didn’t think of her as the baby once the others started arriving. Even though, for all practical purposes, she really was still a baby. On the other hand, I still think of my son as the “baby” of the family and he is fifteen years old!
I like to think that I am a very fair-minded person and I’ve strived to make sure that chores, responsibilities and privileges have been distributed fairly—but I know that I have probably had different expectations of each child depending on their birth order. My middle daughter has gotten to do things much earlier than my eldest—her proximity in age to the eldest and the fact that we tended to work out a lot of the “kinks” with the eldest meant that I have been a little more lax with the second one. I think there is some truth to the fact that the older kids pave the way for the younger ones—we parents get a little more worn out in some areas and more savvy in others as we move down the birth order!
How about you? Do you think that you treat your children differently based on where they fall in the birth order?
Also: Does Birth Order Affect Personality?