We’ve probably all heard the parenting joke, “Do as I say, not as I do”–this being, of course, a comment on the reality that it can be easier to offer our children “words of wisdom” and suggestions for how to behave and conduct life than it actually is to follow through on our own advice. However, making sure we are sending consistent messages to our children–both in our words and our actions–is a key piece in being a respectable and credible parent.
Just because we’re lucky enough to be parents certainly doesn’t mean that we’re perfect! And, we’ll likely continue to make mistakes and bumbles no matter how skilled or dedicated we are to our role and job as a parent. Striving for perfection isn’t necessarily the same thing as trying to be honest and impeccable in making sure our words and our actions match. For example, if we are trying to teach our children that it is bad form to gossip and talk about other people, and then we ourselves are on the telephone carrying on about neighbors, family members, coworkers or someone from church–which “lesson” do you think the child is going to absorb? Actually, there are two lessons for the child here–one is that gossiping is really okay because mom or dad does it, and the other is that mom or dad is not consistent in what they say and what they do. This erodes our credibility with our kids.
Of course, there are going to be things that are ‘adult things” and not “kid things”–having that glass of wine, for example. But we can still teach our children responsibility and maturity in the way we deal with those ‘adult things”–making sure that our expectations for them, match our own expectations for ourselves.
None of this is easy, of course, but who told us parenting was going to be easy?!
See Also: Forever Working on Patience and Are You Sending Crystal Clear Messages to Your Kids?