This morning when I sat down and let my e-mail inbox fill up and filter, I was feeling fairly pleasant and perky. As I started to work through the e-mail messages, however, I opened up one that caused me to get instantaneously angry. It was one of those defensive ones from a person who had not done their part of something and was trying to deflect it off and blame me. I was SO tempted to fire one back in the heat of the moment but managed to simply put it aside and let it rest. I have not always had the fortitude to avoid answering e-mails while angry, but I have learned for the good of my business—it is the best way to approach such things.
If you feel emotion, irritation, anger, resentment or other such feelings creeping into your work and business correspondence—particularly e-mails—it is best to take a break. We can very easily say things that we end up regretting and it is SO easy to simply click away and push “send” and make a big mess of things. What seems like the absolutely perfect thing to say in the heat of the moment will likely not look nearly so perfect a day or two later—especially if it gets blown into something even larger and creates ongoing ill-will.
There is no law that says you have to answer an aggravating e-mail right away. In fact, there have been times when not only have I not answered it, when the offensive party called or e-mailed again asking if I had received it, I’ve fibbed and said I hadn’t. Often times, the other person is relieved and breathes and audible sigh of relief. My little lie may be what helped salvage the working relationship since he or she was likely regretting having sent their e-mail in the first place.
In the words of my kids: “Don’t go there.” If you are tempted to respond in anger to a business e-mail, put it off until your head has cleared and you can make a more professional decision.
See Also: The COMPUTING Blog