Do you use your child as a pawn in your divorce? I have tried so hard not to do that but I’m sure at times I have been guilty of it as well. We are all human and we all do things that in hindsight we realize we shouldn’t have done. I’m not talking about small slips, I’m talking about the people who do this as their main means of communicating and punishing their ex.
I know many single parents, that really is a sad reflection on our society. It seems that I don’t know anyone who is in their original marriage.
Marriages end all the time, why does there have to be so much bitterness and hate? No, I didn’t want to get divorced and raise my child alone, but it happened so I have to make the best of it.
Like everyone else there have been times when I was really bitter towards my ex husband, and it usually had to do with money.
Hailey would come home from her father’s house and tell me they had steak and shrimp for dinner or they went here or there and I would feel bad. Then I would get angry. I could afford to do those things too if I didn’t have to be solely responsible for all of our daughters needs.
When my ex took really nice vacations and I could barely afford to take Hailey camping I was angry. I tried to remind myself over and over again that this was not about him. This is all about Hailey and if I was vindictive and kept her from her father then I was the bad parent. You can’t keep your child from basking in the attention of their other parent, it’s just not fair to them.
I get upset when I hear about women, and sadly it’s usually women, who use their children to punish their ex husbands. Yes he may be a dirt bag to you but try to remember he is Superman to your child. Just as you wouldn’t want anyone to keep your child from you, extend the same courtesy to your ex, one day your child will thank you.