1.Don’t attempt to fry your turkey in your kitchen, or in any vicinity where it can potentially BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE. Seriously. Yes, it happens every year. Some poor average Jo, who just wants to cook the “perfect” turkey for his family winds up burning his own house down. Don’t let it happen to you.
2.Don’t forget to thaw your turkey. Have you ever thawed a turkey in your sink? It takes forever. Think ahead. Get that bird out of the freezer NOW! If for any reason you forgot or forget, I did hear a story once where a woman filled her Jacuzzi bathtub with water and thawed it that way—hmmm…I encourage this method for emergencies only. J
3.Take the giblets out of the turkey! You’d be surprised how many people suddenly pull out a packet of giblets or worse, a long turkey neck just as they’re about to eat. NOT good. NOT appetizing. If you want your guests to want to return to your house next year, TAKE OUT THE INSIDES before you cook the bird.
4.Don’t Cross Contaminate! The only thing worse than an overcooked or undercooked turkey is a house full of guests with salmonella poisoning. Poultry is tricky—you need to wash your hands thoroughly after handling poultry. And if your turkey has accidentally done the slip-n-slide all over your counter, make sure you clean the surface thoroughly as well. A clean house and host means a safe holiday for all.
5.Don’t freak out if your turkey is overcooked. Keep chicken stock handy. If your turkey looks a little dry, pour a little stock on the cut pieces to moisten them up.
6.Don’t freak out—period. Nobody likes a frazzled hostess. Frazzled hostesses lead to frazzled guests, which leads to a dreary Thanksgiving. If you burn every side dish and forget to bake the pies, go ahead and wallow, but then order a pizza and be glad you’re alive to make mistakes and laugh about them.