It can be easy for us single parents to become so caught up in all that we have to do that we never seem to have the time for things like just hanging out with our kids.
We don’t mean to, but while doing “everything” for them, we may be inadvertently neglecting our children in a profound way that they’ll always remember.
I was struck by this yesterday while speaking with a woman whose parents divorced when she was young and who was raised by her Mom. She told me that, although she lived with her mother, she actually felt closer to her father.
That was because her mother, although always there, was so busy that the two of them didn’t actually spend much time just being with each other. By contrast, her visits with her father were entirely focused on the two of them enjoying their time together.
Of course this isn’t fair to the custodial parent, the one who has no choice but to be responsible for all the details of the child’s everyday life. The non-custodial parent, unburdened by the endless tasks that make up life in the single parent household, has no such constraints during the child’s visits. He/she is completely free to devote his/her undivided time, energy and attention to the child.
It’s not fair, but it’s easy to see how it can happen; and it may be reality for you and your children.
If you suspect that it is, then please, do something about it while you still can. In the middle of everything else you have to do, stop and remind yourself to actually connect with your children in some meaningful way every day.
Take a little time to just sit down and talk about their day, or to play a game, or to watch a video or read a book with them; or simply to hug them and let them know how much you love them.
This is important. Kids notice. Kids don’t forget.
So let’s not forget either.