We talk a great deal here in the Single Parents Blog about how we can better handle transitions and let go of the past so that we can enjoy the present and embrace the future. I think it might be also important, however, to talk about how we can keep from losing sight of who we are, or reconnect with pieces of us that might have been lost along the way.
As a parent, the realities of single parenthood might make us forget our core values or give in to a way of parenting that does not necessarily mesh with who we really are. To a certain extent, change and adjustment can be really good things, but we do not want to “sell out” just because we are single parents now. For example, if things like church, spirituality, education, community service, the arts, discipline, etc. were important to you before you became a single parent, do not let an overextended life shove those values to the back burner. If you are someone who needs a certain amount of social activity to feel happy and energized, don’t let your single parent status force you into isolation.
All of us are changing all of the time and there is NOTHING like parenthood to make us grow up and mature and this can mean leaving some of our ways behind. We do not want to lose the core of who we are in the process, however. Prioritizing is one thing, giving up true selves is quite another. I am of the opinion that our inner selves will fight it, however, but why waste several years of a lifetime forgetting who we really are? Staying true to ourselves will not only make us happier, healthier individuals, I think it makes us far better parents too!
Also: Finding a New Purpose