Discipline can be one of the first things to go for the frazzled single parent. After all, we just get too darned tired or overwhelmed or, if we’ve got more than one child, we may feel completely out-numbered. But, the truth is, we single parents really NEED discipline and we need to maintain some order and authority with our kids.
When I talk of discipline, I’m not talking about punishment—I’m talking about structure and rules and expectations and follow through when it comes to consequences. One of the myths and stereotypes of single parents is that our kids run free and don’t have rules and discipline. While I don’t think this is true, I can see how discipline can be overwhelming for a single parent—especially as our children get older and more challenging!
Don’t give up on discipline, however. While you may have to flex and adjust as your kids get older—it is important to maintain the role of parent regardless. Kids who are raised with structure and discipline feel more secure and have a good understanding of how to maneuver in the world. Not to mention, as the solo adult in the household, we really need to maintain control for the overall health and well-being of our families. Our kids need us to be in charge and need to know that we are present and involved in setting limits and boundaries. Sure, we need that village and those support people to help us with our kids—but we cannot rely on the rest of the world to pick up the slack if we are unwilling to maintain discipline with our children (that’s part of the stereotype too).
You can stay calm and in charge—without having to be an authoritarian. And, you can keep structure and discipline to your family without having to be rigid and without having a second parent to provide support and back-up. The important thing is to make up your mind that you won’t give up on discipline and you will make limit setting and follow-through a priority.
Also: Make Sure They Know Who Is the Boss
Don’t Allow Kids to Divide and Conquer
I Probably Let My Kids Have More Say and Influence