In any marriage there are difficult times and often they can be worked through as we talk them out. But much as we might like to think we can handle any problems in our marriage and work them out on our own, sometimes we may need to admit that we need help. This blog was prompted by a comment posted in response to another blog.
In Packed to the Rafters, an Aussie TV show very popular here at present the husband Dave, had this to say ‘men have a way of dealing with problems. They ignore them.’ There’s a certain truth in that. Where women will often want to talk a problem out and thrash it through till they get a resolution, some men have a tendency to withdraw and not want to admit to the problem. It’s as though admitting everything is not perfect is a slight on them and their manhood.
So they ignore it, pretend it doesn’t exist and hope it goes away. More often that not, it doesn’t. What is actually does is compound the situation and make it worse. If you are in a marriage where your spouse whether male or female refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem and refuses to talk it through, then let me suggest it is time to get professional help.
Professional help may mean seeing a counselor. It could end up being your pastor, as many ministers are equipped to deal with personal problems. If both of you are not comfortable with that solution, then your pastor or medical practitioner should be able to recommend someone who can help you work though the problem and arrive at some solutions designed to improve your marriage.
Marriage experts say there are certain signs that can be danger signs for a marriage. Obviously if your spouse is not listening to what you say or you’re not listening to them but are finding them irritating, that is one sign there is something wrong. If physical contact has dwindled to almost nought is another.
Other signs might be if you start thinking more of the past and your ex, then that is a point of concern. If you find you watch TV but never talk to each other or take refuge in alcohol or staying out late, these are all signs something needs to change. And quickly. If you really want to save your marriage then it is important to try all avenues to do so and that may well include getting professional help.
Strangely though many people walk out of a marriage and take the divorce option without ever seeking professional help, which to me seems bizarre. I guess, it all depends on how committed you are and how serious you are about your marriage. Would you agree?
Related blogs
Will Divorce Make You Happier?
When There’s a Problem, Deal with It!