There is a very interesting article in the September issue of More Magazine that talks about how marriages change once chronic illness enters the picture.
According to the story, couples who consist of at least one spouse with a chronic illness have a divorce rate of 75%! And other couples who stay together say that they are only still married because of the insurance. This is some pretty scary information.
So how can you prevent a chronic illness from taking down your marriage? The couples that do stay together and are happy may have a few secrets up their sleeves. Fortunately, I have never been in that situation, but from reading the article and talking to others who are currently facing this sort of challenge, I have come up with some consistent strategies that these couples seem to employ.
Seek help is the biggest one. Not only do many of these couples seek therapy, but they also have a greater support system in place that allows them to express their feelings. It might be hard to admit that you feel helpless or that you resent having to help your spouse. Being able to talk about it with someone else who can help you put things in perspective is a good idea.
Don’t be the primary caregiver. Many spouses find themselves being the primary caregiver of the chronically ill spouse, but this can change the relationship and make it less equal. While there is nothing wring with wanting to care for your spouse or be cared for by your spouse, you want to make sure that your marriage comes first. Hire extra help and negotiation with your insurance company so the two of you can be on a more equal ground, and the spousal relationship can be the focus.
Has anyone been in this situation? I would like to hear your thoughts about what works.
You can read more blog posts by Mary Ann Romans here!
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