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Don’t Let Others Define You


I care too much about what others think of me. This is something I struggled with long before my divorce, but has gotten significantly worse since then. Before I got married I was strong and confident. I cared about what others thought of me, but I put up a pretty good front that I didn’t. As time went on, that wall came crashing down. As a single mom I often felt inadequate. I knew that I was doing the best that I could, but sometimes I wondered if other people were judging my parenting. People often make assumptions about single parents. We work too much, we don’t spend enough time with our children, and the list goes on and on and on. If you are like most of us you also have an ex that is analyzing your every move as well. Trying to keep up with everyone else’s idea of who you should be can be tiring, so stop.

Don’t second guess who you really are because of what people might think of you. Their opinion doesn’t change the person you truly are. They may think you are horrible, inconsiderate, conniving, selfish, or rude. That does not change who you are. There are many more people in your life that see you for who you really are. They see someone who is amazing, strong, dedicated, hard-working, and above all else a good mother. Of course, when people say mean things about us it hurts our feelings, but it doesn’t make them true. Stand up for yourself. You know who you are and that is what’s important. Don’t give them that power over you. Your value is not on the line here. No one can hurt you without your permission. You are feeling that way because of your own insecurities. You are afraid that what they are saying might be true. You have to decide that it isn’t.

We may not be perfect, but if we are doing everything in our power to do what we know is right, to be the best person we can be, then that is what matters. Don’t lose yourself in the judgments of others.

This entry was posted in Children of Divorce by Sarah Williams. Bookmark the permalink.

About Sarah Williams

I am a single mother to a sweet little 4 year old boy named Logan. I am almost done with my degree in Elementary Education and have loved every second of it. I love writing for Families.com and hope to be able to help other single moms through the difficulties of raising a child on your own.