The problem with little things in a marriage is that they can quickly grow into bigger things. Soon that little pet peeve has become the giant gorilla in the room. By resolving not to let the little things in life bother you, your marriage will be a lot healthier, and the reduced stress will keep you happier too.
Let us take a look at a typical pet peeve in a marriage. Jane can’t stand the fact that Jack leaves his clothes all over the floor. She’s asked him nicely to stop doing it, but he never seems to remember.
Every day when Jack comes home from work, he is exhausted. He trudges upstairs and changes into more comfortable clothes, trying to put his crazy day behind him. He is looking forward to a good dinner and relaxing for the rest of the night.
Jane hears her husband come in to the house and run upstairs without so much as a hello. She has also had a tiring day. The kids have been pulling at her all day, the dog made a mess on the carpet, and she burned her hand while making dinner.
She marches upstairs to greet her husband, only to find that he has once again dumped his clothes on the floor. Jane feels her anger bubble up. Is it too much to ask him to pick up after himself. The next thing Jack and Jane know, they are in a huge fight about how he never helps around the house and how she is constantly nagging him about the clothes on the floor.
It is easy to see what happened. Jack and Jane are stressed and latching out at each other.
Sometimes letting the little pet peeves can make life more harmonious. While I am not saying that Jack should treat their bedroom as a dumping ground, Jane could choose to react differently to the pet peeve. She could choose to ignore the pet peeve until her husband’s behavior started to bother even himself and he changes it, or she could quietly move the dropped clothes to the hamper as the lesser of two evils. The extra effort to pick up the clothing once a night may be worth not fighting about something trivial, and without the pressure, he might come around to doing it himself.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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