When someone gets married, they can easily lose their own identity in their marriage. The same thing can happen after baby arrives. But, it doesn’t have to.
Right now, while you are still pregnant and baby free, it’s a good time to do some self-reflection. Think about what makes you the person you are right now aside from growing another life inside you. What makes you happy? What is it that you love to do? Who are you?
Keeping a journal is a good way to answer these questions. Spend an evening alone, and really ponder what has made your life complete up until this point. Write your ideas down.
When your baby arrives, life gets consumed by your beautiful child for those first few months. It is supposed to. Being a mother is a self-sacrificing experience. However, there will come a time when you think, “Is this all I am? A feeding, burping, changing machine?” The answer is no. You are still you.
When you have these feelings, you will be able to look back in your journal and think about ways that you can re-capture yourself.
Once baby arrives, the key to feeling fulfilled as a mother, is to also find ways to fulfill yourself. To some new moms, this may sound selfish, but the longer you are a mother, the more you will realize that I’m giving you some good advice.
Here are some ways that you can still find your inner self after baby arrives:
* Set aside some alone time. Have confidence in your spouse that he can take care of the baby. Maybe you will leave the house for just an hour, or two. But, he will be OK. Ideally, you should try and do this once a week.
* Start a blog. Writing is cathartic. It seems like every mother in the world has a blog to showcase their beautiful children. I do. But, why not keep a blog as a way to talk about you? Your feelings, your insights, and your thoughts, with an occasional picture of your precious baby.
* Stay connected. Keeping in touch with old friends is a good way to stay in touch with who you really are. Don’t think that just because you have a baby now, and they may not, that they don’t want to see you. It is probably the opposite. Maybe they are the one that is afraid they will be bothering you. So, pick up the phone and make a date with a friend.
* Find a hobby. This saved me as a new mother. I was stuck for endless hours without a car, no family around, and in the apartment with the baby. It can be depressing. However, it can be a great time to start that hobby you’ve always wanted to try. For me, it was scrapbooking. But, maybe you want to learn something else. There is an online course out there for pretty much everything you can imagine. Baby will be perfectly happy sitting in your lap while you learn your new craft.
* Have date nights. This is something I had a hard time doing as a semi-control freak mom. But, now, I love it. It is essential to maintaining your relationship with your spouse too.
If you are having feelings of sadness thinking that everything is going to change once baby arrives, you are justified. The changes are for the most part, wonderful. But, the one thing that doesn’t have to change is you. You can still be you. It may just take a little more work.
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