Our family is a bit unique, in that my sister married my husband’s brother. So that means my sister is not only my sister but my sister-in-law. Confused?
What this also means is that our families see each other a lot. We are so closely intertwined that it can be a blessing but it can also be a challenge.
Take Thanksgiving…we have always had a rotation schedule. My sister and brother-in-law host Thanksgiving, while my family hosts Christmas. But this year, for reasons that don’t really matter, we are getting the task of hosting both.
The pressure I feel in hosting tends to get spent on my husband. I found myself doing that already this morning. Instead of kindly asking my husband to take the garbage out, I found myself saying under my breath (loudly), “I’m the only one who sees the garbage is full.” To which my husband responded, “I will take it out if you just ask.”
But then what kicks into my mind is the old, “Well, you shouldn’t have to be asked, you should be able to see.” Ugh, it’s that old pattern in me creeping back up…the one that believes my husband should see everything the way I do.
I had to take a step back, breathe in deeply and remember that it’s not my husband’s fault I have so much to do before family comes over. We both work but I at least work at home, so there is some flexibility. Meanwhile, he still has his 10 hour a day job to get to.
Do you find yourself getting snippy with your husband when you feel overwhelmed or burdened? Why is it that we take it out on those we love the most? I suppose we know that we can get away with it.
But I have determined, after my minor setback, to not allow the preparations of Thanksgiving to dictate the way I respond and react to my husband. I am going to separate the two.
Perhaps you are dealing with some stress yourself…determine to not take it out on your husband. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time of creating fun, lasting memories. Show your appreciation for your husband, even if you don’t see things the same.
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