There are some things you never want to say to your spouse, because they are the type of things that can have serious effects. Three little words that should be dropped from the marriage vocabulary are, ‘never,’ ‘always,’ and ‘only.’
Imagine how your spouse feels if you tell them, ‘you never say the right things,’ or ‘you never do what I want.’ Now I’m sure if you thought about it long enough you’d realize what you mean is right at this moment you are not saying or doing what I want you to.
If you tell them they never say or do the right thing then sooner or later they’re going to stop bothering because it appears they are in the wrong no matter what they do and can’t do anything right, no matter how much they try.
Another word that needs to be dropped from the marriage vocabulary is ‘always.’ You always leave your clothes on the floor. Is it always? Or sometimes? And before you criticize your spouse about where their clothes are, are yours all hanging up and put away where they should be? Or is it the combined untidy look that is getting you down?
Another little word that carries significant weight is ‘only.’ ‘You only ever think about yourself. You never think about me and what I want.’ Yes, there are two things wrong with these remarks – the only and the never.
Another thing that is not helpful is, ‘I should have known what you were like when I first met you.’ Well, maybe you should have. Maybe you did, and if you did and you then thought you could change your spouse, you have yourself to blame. It is never a good idea to go into any relationship with the idea of changing them once you are married. We need to accept each other as we are, faults and all, and decide if we can live with the things that irritate us. Otherwise you need to think seriously about whether he or she is the right one for you.
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