As you probably can tell, I love celebrities. In my mind, they are superhuman. They wake up looking beautiful (yes, deep down I know they wake up looking shabby just like I do), they are always taller than they really are, and they are always intelligent. Well, that is until they open their mouths.
Here are a few of the dumbest quotes ever uttered out of a celeb mouth:
Blondes will be blondes, even if they are fake:
Britney Spears – “I get to go overseas place, like Canada”
Jessica Simpson – “Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says Chicken of the Sea.”
Tara Reid – “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”
Kimberly Stewart (when talking about Jennifer Aniston) – “I like her cuz she’s like, homely. She must have something else going on cuz it’s not like she’s gorgeous or anything.”
Christina Aguilera – “So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”
We elected these guys?
Former President Bill Clinton – “If I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That’s a good-looking mummy.”
President George W. Bush – “I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be—hold hands.” (on how he can contribute to the Middle East peace process)
CA Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger – “I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
Former Vice President Dan Quayle – “It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.”
Former President Dwight Eisenhower – “The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.”
D.C. Mayor Marion Berry – “Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
Non-blonde male celebrities:
Joaquin Phoenix – “Do I have a large frog in my hair? I have the sensation that something is eating my brain.”
R. Kelly – “All of the sudden, you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.”
Sylvester Stallone – “The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.”
From Sports Stars:
Shaquille O’Neal – “I can’t really remember any of the names of the clubs that we went to.” (after being asked if he had visited the Parthenon while in Greece)
Jason Kidd – “We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” (talking about the Dallas Mavericks)
Mickey Rivers – “Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.”