Like it or not, eventually you are going to deal with boy/girl issues. To some, the way our family chooses to address this issue is radical. And then I’m sure to others, it’s not radical enough. But we all have to make a personal and family decision about how this area will be addressed.
One of the things I can tell you, is that what I thought would happen when my children were still very young is no where close to that. What I have discovered is that you have to take each child and each situation and deal with it accordingly. I just don’t see how there can be hard and fast rules, such as stating your teen has to be 16 years old before they can date.
Maybe for one 16-year-old that would be okay but for another, who still has a lot of issues to deal with, it isn’t the right choice. I really think this has to be addressed on a case-by-case basis.
So that is one of the rules I have since thrown out, deciding on what the “right” age is. I think that will depend on the child and the circumstances.
So now we are dealing with a situation with one of our children where this is an obvious interest in someone of the opposite sex and apparently the feelings are reciprocal. At this point, due to age, we are encouraging a friendship with this person. And our child has been very well receiving of that.
In any given situation, I think the best way to start off a relationship is to be friends. It can help determine if there really is something “more” to it.
So this past weekend we allowed our child to go to the movies with some friends, which included this other person. Because we have such open communication, I felt very comfortable about it. My child shared a lot of what happened and as I had hoped, it was an enjoyable time with a friend.
Thankfully I get some backing up to the whole idea of friendships first. Our church does a great job in their youth group teaching these concepts. So my children don’t just hear it from their parents. They have been brought up this way and although I know there are no guarantees, I do feel it is going to be extremely helpful.
When it comes to dealing with the whole issue of relationships, talk to your teen about becoming friends first. They may end up finding out a “romantic” relationship would never work. And if they do find it works, at least they know each other on a friendship basis first.
What do you think about this whole issue of dating?
Related Articles:
Teen Dating: When Your Teen Isn’t Ready
Teen Dating: When Your Teen Is Ready