My kids used to be masters at getting me to do things for them. As a matter of fact, sometimes we still fall into old patterns and I’ll step in to solve a problem, answer a question or offer up advice before I’m able to stop myself. But, in reality, I know that they will be better off if they continue learning how to think and problem-solve for themselves.
The trick with encouraging kids to think on their own is that a parent has to let go of the need for things to be “right” and to let go of the focus on getting the right or desired answer. The process of learning how to think for oneself has to take precedent and that can be a tough lesson for parents (and kids to learn). After all, it is so much easier for the child to just ask you for the answer and have you give it to them!
Have you ever had a coworker or worked on a project with someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t think for themselves? They likely asked someone else for all the answers or asked the group what they thought instead of offering up their own opinions or suggestions. I don’t know about you, but I find this hopelessly aggravating and not much help at all! I want my children to be able to think for themselves and willing to take the risk to offer up those ideas and suggestions (or be able to problem-solve when they are all by themselves) and if I’m going to raise kids like that—I have to let go of the need to be right!
Instead of automatically providing the answers, nudge your child to come up with his or her own solutions. Ask his opinion when you are trying to solve a puzzle or one of life’s dilemmas. Ask her “what would you do?” when you are watching a television program or movie or she is reporting on something that happened to someone else at school. The more opportunities a child has to think through how they would handle and face life’s everyday situations, the more confidence he or she will gain and, before you know it, you’ll have another independent thinker on your hands!
See Also: Promoting and Encouraging Curiosity
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