There are different ways to help boost your child’s confidence and self-esteem, but I think one of the best ways is to encourage and help a child to become an expert at something. It doesn’t have to be brain surgery or something complicated, but getting good and knowledgeable is a great way to grow confidence.
Think of how things are for you—don’t you feel better about yourself when you know what you are doing, or are sharing some of your passions and knowledge with those around you? I find it to be somewhat disconcerting to be a stumbling beginner at something for very long and definitely feel more self-confidence when I feel competent. Our children spend so much time having to be “students,” having people tell them what to do and feeling like they don’t quite know what is going on. Finding something that they can get really good at and be a true “expert” with can give them a shot of self-esteem.
Look for things that your child has a natural interest in, and encourage them. Even if it is reading the sports page and perusing the box scores—being able to quote and share personal data on sports figures is a respected thing in many circles! There is nothing wrong with letting your child get smarter than you in something—as a matter of fact, it can be an added bonus and motivation for many children if they know they are becoming an expert in something that no one else in their family knows much about. It’s nice to have some individuality and something to claim all for one’s very own.
Try to keep the focus on learning and acquiring knowledge, and on the process of becoming an expert—not on competition or on “being better than anyone else.” It doesn’t need to be something athletic or where score is being kept—just encourage and nurture and natural interest and watch your child’s confidence grow as her knowledge and expertise grow too.
Also: Help Kids See How Far They’ve Come
Offering Guidance to Our Guidance to Our Kids, Not Criticism