Life in a single parent family can be wonderful, but it can also be chaotic sometimes. Setting up a safe haven and a comfortable home environment where our children are able to feel happy and secure may mean not only providing plenty of family time, but also making sure that each child has a quiet, private place of his or her own.
When a child is small, a quiet private place may be something simple like a big, comfortable chair or a corner of a room with some soft cushions. When my children were pre-schoolers, I remember a time when they each had their own big cardboard box that I cut a door and windows out of so that they had their own private “fort.” We wrote each child’s name on their little hut and it was off limits to anyone else.
As a child gets older, their quiet, private place requirements might get even stronger. If you cannot give each child a room of their own, then you might need to get creative about providing privacy. I found that since my children went back and forth between my house and their dad’s they really needed to both be enveloped by me and “family” when they came into my house AND have a place that they could call their own no matter what. This was key in helping them to feel like this was their home whether they were “in residence” or not. It may seem like family time is the most important healing element in a single parent family, but children still need to have quiet, private down time on their own. You may not be able to control the sort of quiet space they have at the other parent’s house, but you can make sure their needs are met at your house.
Also: Respecting Your Child’s Privacy
How Much Should Siblings Have to Share?