I couldn’t think of exactly how to title this blog–what I want to write about is how for a single parent, we often have to start all over each school year (even if our child doesn’t change schools) with making sure that the school sends records to both parents, that our child’s teacher understands the family situation, and advocating for and explaining our single family status. This doesn’t have to be stressful or anxiety-provoking (although it sometimes is), but we do have to be diligent and prepared to dig in and make sure the school gets it right.
I find that at the beginning of each school year, I have to fill out forms and remind the school to send report cards, progress reports, newsletters, etc. to both my children’s father’s house and mine. It also takes a while for the school to get the custody arrangement down and know who to call when. I imagine with many other students who also live with single parents or in shared custody arrangements, it definitely complicates things for school administrators, so I have patience, but I know that I will need to stick with it in order to make sure we get all the communication stuff taken care of.
When kids change schools, or move up from elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school, it is a starting-over period too. Those administrators and teachers don’t know our kids or our families and we will have to start over building relationships and advocating for our families. I have found that I often first have to overcome the “stigma” of the “single parent family” or the “single mom”–some teachers and administrators assume that I will not be available for phone calls or meetings, or will be too busy and absent to take an active interest in what is going on with my kids. Once they realize that we are NOT that sort of single parent family, most of them change their tune–but it does take some time to establish and build a working relationship.
I’ve learned to just expect that the first month or two of each school year I will need to start from scratch and be diligent and responsive while the school gets to know my kids and we learn how to work with each other.
Also: Your Child Still Has Two Parents
When the Visitation Schedule Changes