Have you thought about what it will be like once you have your baby? What will motherhood be like and what will it require? Is it really as bad as some people say? Is it really as wonderful as some people say? Will you be successful and what does that even mean?
In reflecting back on my expectations for becoming a mom, I find that I was entirely wrong on all accounts. I knew I would love my child, but the scale and scope of what I anticipated was completely eclipsed by reality. I love him so much more than I ever dreamed. It’s a completely different kind of love. It consumes you and erases wrongs. It gives you the ability to do things you never thought you’d do (like touch poo?) and it completely rearranges your heart and your priorities.
I was also wrong in that I thought I would have so much more control over everyday situations and my child’s behavior. The truth is, you can’t make a baby do anything, not even sleep (take that all you baby sleep authors!). And when that baby gets older, teaching them how to behave is a 24/7 job with very limited success. My theory is that a toddler must hear “no” about three hundred times before they will actually stop attempting to do something naughty. You just have to constantly monitor them and redirect, correct, and distract…. all day long. Some things you just never see coming. Sometimes it’s your fault (don’t leave the lotion in plain sight or your toddler might eat it) and sometimes there’s no explanation (I never dreamed my toddler would pull his poop out of the back of his diaper and smear it on the floor). Every day is a learning experience and I am not sure who is learning more: mom or the baby.
Motherhood shows you your weaknesses, but it can also show you where you are strong. It will reveal your true priorities. You will discover what’s important (hugs) and what can wait (spotless floors). It is just as difficult as some people say, but it is also just as wonderful. Success is defined by the relationships you build with your kids and the character they develop as they grow into adulthood, though sometimes it cannot be measured until they are far beyond the reaches of adolescence.