We adults and parents are not the only ones to go through transitions. We may think of our children as growing up or going through developmental stages, but our kids go through plenty of transitional periods too. As parents, understanding and expecting transitions can help us to be able to keep things in perspective, be supportive, and keep from making a “big deal” out of behavior choices or circumstances that are transitional.
Sure, there are those reasonably predictable developmental stages that appear on the charts at the doctor’s office and in parenting books, but our children have individual growth patterns and transitions to go through as well. The ongoing process of learning to be independent, wrestling with identity, and experimenting and choosing paths in their lives will all involve transitional processes for our child. As parents, we can be supportive by allowing our child the time and space to work through these transitions and by being encouraging and on “stand by” for when they may need us.
Moving from elementary school to middle school, middle school to high school, and again into college or the work world are all big transitional periods for a child. So too are times when a child may discover new interests, change peer groups, experience loss and grief over a broken heart or abandoned friendships. There are important lessons to be learned in these transitions and if we parents try to shelter them or rush them through, we can be harming their growth opportunities.
Expecting that children will have personal milestones and personal transitional periods is important in allowing for individuality and supporting the unique path that is each child’s birthright. As parents, knowing that growing up will be a long march of transitions, leaps, and discoveries can guide us in being supportive and caring when our children most need us to be.
Also: Feeling Irrelevant as They Gain Independence
Expect a Certain Amount of Self-Interest