Children with special needs, and especially those with behavior problems, can get easily overwhelmed. As your child becomes more verbal and enters pre-adolescence, you’ll likely face numerous meltdowns and family fights. If you’re not careful, you might find yourself swept into the battle and getting as frenzied as your child. Soon everybody is yelling, crying, or complaining. Before things escalate out of control, step in and call for a family “chill out.” Here’s how it works:
- Mom or Dad calls a “chill-out.”
- Everybody has to stop talking, or making any vocalizations, for ten minutes. Whatever the current problem is, put it completely aside.
- During this time, quiet activities are allowed if they weren’t the cause of the blow-out. If an argument erupted over a television show, the T.V. must be turned off for the ten minutes.
- Nobody, during this ten minutes, is “in trouble.” The family “chill-out” is not to be used like time-out or the naughty stool. Make sure all family members understand that if they obediently participate, they are safe from being disciplined, at least during the ten minutes.
- When the time is up, call everyone together in the same room. Take a stern, but very calm, parental role. Explain that things got out of control and people lost their tempers. Ask for input from the children as to what could be done to better handle the situation in the future. Unless your child is sarcastic, give praise for his ideas.
Typically, just by taking a break from the chaos everyone will calm down to the point that the battle no longer matters so much. It’s easier to think straight when the turmoil isn’t at the boiling point.
If your child refuses to comply, walk away. State the rule that was broken, and leave. Return in ten minutes when things have cooled down. Or, put your child on the naughty stool, or remove a privilege. Teach your child that it’s always better to participate in the chill-out than to refuse.
Remember to stay calm, no matter what. Taking a break from the mayhem will naturally help to diffuse it.
Kristyn Crow is the author of this blog. Visit her website by clicking here. Some links on this blog may have been generated by outside sources are not necessarily endorsed by Kristyn Crow.
Related Articles:
Why YOUR Behavior Matters to Your Child
Why is My Child Doing THAT? Understanding Misbehavior
Don’t Get Frustrated…Take A New Look at Your Child’s Behavior