I wrote an article yesterday called, “What’s For Dinner?” that I shared on Facebook with my friends and family. I got lots of responses from people saying they liked the article, and that always makes me feel great. But, I like the comments where I know someone is really reading, and thinking about what I write. Those really make me feel like every word I type is important. That comment came from my Aunt.
She is not LDS, but is very familiar with our religion. She is my Mom’s sister, and growing up, we had the fortune of living particularly close to her and getting to know her very well as a kid. So, I really value her thoughts, and opinions on life. She, my Mom, and my two other Aunts and Uncle grew up in a house very unlike my own. She pointed out that dinner time was not a happy time for their family. It was used as a time to criticize, discipline, and scold. I can imagine how that was not a fun time to look forward to.
It made me think how important it is that we aren’t just spending time together as families, but we are spending good, quality time together as families. Family time is what you make it. We can have family home evening every week, but if it is spent full of bickering, resentment, or complaining, it won’t be a cherished time in our kids’ lives after they are grown. The same goes with family dinner. If we aren’t using that time to praise, teach, listen, and have a good time with our kids, they won’t remember it as anything unique. Sure, they might know that their family is different because they are forced to eat together, but if it is not a happy time, then what purpose is it serving anyway?
However, if every time we put our kids to bed, we talk about their day, read them a story, cuddle with them, and teach them a little something in the process, then that will be the time that they look back on fondly and remember. Or maybe we designate a time every day where we put down the phone, the computer, the book, the TV or whatever makes us listen with just half an ear, and really focus on them in a positive way for just a few minutes, they will know they are loved when you can’t drop everything for them.
While I still love the idea of family dinner as a time that will be vitally important in my children’s lives, everything is absolutely what we make it. Whether good, or bad.
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