It seems as though we’re never quite ready to start a family, does it? Babies don’t come with instructions, and many couples wonder if they are cut out for being parents.
Well the truth is that we never know if we are cut out for parenthood, but if you’ve been thinking that it might be a good idea to start a family, here are a few tips to help you at least feel a little bit confident about the decision.
One major question newly married couples ask themselves is if they can afford a child. Education and medical costs are skyrocketing, and the average couple will spend just under a quarter of a million dollars to raise one child until they reach the age of eighteen. The first year the average you will spend on diapers and formula, as well as clothing and toys, bedding, etc, will far exceed $8,000. None of this includes the hospital bills. So can you afford it? Many new articles on the subject advise newlyweds to take the first two years and put some money in savings for these items. The two years will also give you a goal, and give you the time to make sure that this is truly something both of you wanted. It is better not to have any children than to have one right away because you or your relatives think that you should.
Are you planning to stay home with the baby or go back to work as soon as possible? This is another consideration. While studies show that children who are put in day care at an early age do not seem to experience separation anxiety or any other attachment disorder( which was the claim for a long time), you may not be able to part with your little bundle of joy for 8-10 hours a day. This is your right and your choice. However, you will save a great deal of money if one of you can stay home the first year. Day care costs are much higher for infants than for toddlers. (You wouldn’t think so, because they seem to sleep at of the time, but it’s true!)
So there are two questions answered, time and money. Now for the biggest question of all when planning your family, are you capable of being good parents? The answer to that is simple. All you have to do is love them. You don’t have to have every new baby item that comes out; you don’t have to be able to ”give them the best” as far as diapers and toys. What you do have to do is give them as much love as you are capable of, and then more. Babies react to their environment, and if you provide a safe, quiet, loving environment where the parents love each other and it shows, you are batting a thousand. I counsel couples all the time who are so sickened at the state of the world right now that they can’t possibly see the good in bringing a baby into this world, but to them I say, “Make a difference.”