The next asset in this series calls for positive, supervised activities that families can enjoy together at home. For the optimal growth of children families should spend four or nights per week together and substantial time together during the weekends in enjoyable predictable routines. This can be challenging for single parent families whose parents work two jobs or juggling parenting time between two different households. Sit down together as a family and determine what is an appropriate amount of time for all of you to spend time together, and then plan when that will occur.
It has been said before that one of the best gifts we can give to our children is our undivided attention. Even if we cannot give them as much time or material gifts that we would like to, we can give them the gift of our undivided attention. Focus only on what your child is saying at the time and not your list of twenty to-do items. If I cannot give my child my full attention at a particular point in time, I will tell him so and that it will need to wait until I can fully listen because “What you have to say to me is very important.”
Some things to consider when making time just for the family:
Infants:
• Babies like games like peek-a boo, or airplane. Take time each day to play with your infant.
• Play music and sing to your baby.
• Sit and rock or just hold your baby for an extended period of time. This will help both of you to relax.
Toddlers:
• Create unique games or rituals with your young toddler. These young children typically like routine.
• Create a space where your toddler can play nearby you while you work. I sacrificed a bit of my cupboard space when my children were younger and allowed them to put some toys in a pull out drawer that they used specifically when I was cooking in the kitchen. I would cook and they would be right there playing.
Pre-schoolers:
• Have a lot of fun with your pre-schoolers. Tell jokes at dinner and other times.
• Preschoolers love to make believe. Create sock puppets and a set to use to put on a grand production.
• Utilize a cardboard box for creating just about anything-a house, barn, fort, rocket, truck or whatever your child likes.
Elementary age children:
• The school years can be so busy with bounding from one activity to another. It is important to take a few nights a week to just relax and hang out together as a family.
• Let your child choose a game to play in the evening during your family time.
Teens:
• Your teen might need limits set as to how many times a week he or she can spend time away from home.
• Monitor your child, where she will be, and whom he will be with at all times.
• If your teen works during the school year make sure the hours are limited to fewer than 15 per week. Studies show that students who work more than that have lower grades and achievement tests.