No parent ever wants to believe he/she could become frustrated or even angry with a baby but it happens. While not intentional, sometimes parents reach a point of physical and mental exhaustion that coupled with a crying baby spells trouble. When my son was about three months of age, he had a bad day, crying on and off all day. As a new mother, I was frustrated. I remember picking him up and yelling at him. His lower lip puckered up and he began to cry. As you can imagine, I felt like the worst mother in the world.
I never told anyone about that day until about 10 years later when I met another woman who admitted to the same thing. I remember thinking “I’m not a horrible mother.” Raising children can be difficult. These little creatures are demanding and not everyone mom has family or friends to help. You would certainly want to pay attention to how often you feel frustrated and how intense you feel but expect this will happen.
For mothers with more than one child, the frustration can be even more challenging. While trying to change the diaper of the newborn, you have a two-year-old wanting something to eat and the five-year-old fussing about something. Does this sound familiar? If so, know you are not alone. The truth is that the majority of mothers feel frustrated and even angry at one time or another. The way you handle this is what makes the difference.
Know your limits. If you feel totally overwhelmed, rather than wait to seek help, get in touch with a friend or family member to give you a break. If you do not have anyone near, then contact a reputable church, asking about programs for mother’s day out. This way, you can take some much-needed time for yourself. Remind yourself as well that your baby is not trying to make you feel this way. They are completely dependent on you so everything needed has to be addressed. For the parent, this type of responsibility can feel overwhelming at times but it will pass.
Just tell yourself that this precious life is far more valuable and important than you becoming frustrated. If your baby is crying and you feel tense, make sure he or she is safe and then step outside for a few minutes to relax. Always ask for help before you cross the line. Sadly, babies are injured and even killed by loving parents who just could not handle the frustration. Although not overly common, you certainly would never want to allow things to go that far.
Therefore, learn the things that trigger your negative responses and take charge. If you are having a bad day, not feeling well, are extremely tired, or just irritated at something, realize this day might be one when you need some help. If you know a responsible teenager, have him or her come to the home while you are there to help. This person could change the baby, feed the baby, and play with the baby while you get other things accomplished. Most importantly, do not beat yourself up for feeling frustrated. Again, while you want to take this serious, most mothers feel the same way.