As much as it may seem like we single parents would be a “club” since we have our single parenthood in common—that does not always prove to be the case. In fact, I have found that while we should have a lot to commiserate and support each other about, often some of my toughest critics—have been other single parents…
I am not sure what it is about—maybe parents are somewhat competitive and apt to compare themselves to other parents, regardless of whether they are single parents or not. But, I think the experience of feeling like a minority or “outside” the expected norm can make us turn on each other as we struggle to normalize our experiences and make sure that we are being taken seriously as “good parents.”
Hypersensitivity can be common for single parents—we worry that we are being judged as to whether our children are well-behaved enough, well-fed enough, involved enough, and all those other things that have come to represent a “healthy childhood.” I know that my single parent status has raised an eyebrow more times than I want to count when my kids or my family were being evaluated, but it seems like other single parents should be the last ones to jump on board that judgment wagon too.
I would love to hear from other single parents out there as to whether or not you have ever had the experience of feeling judged or critiqued by other single parents—I am guessing that my own single parenthood has not been an enigma. Have you felt by and large supported and encouraged by other single parents or have you felt the pressure to live up to others’ standards when it comes to your parenting and life as a single parent family?
Also: What I LIKE About Being a Single Parent
The Dangers of Getting Over-Extended
Finding Me Time as a Single Parent