With nine months of joyous anticipation of the birth of your precious baby you may be surprised to learn that you may not feel so joyful right after giving birth. Your thoughts about the moments right afterwards may lead you believe you should be feeling your best. Yet, you won’t be. Yes, you may feel a sense of joy hearing your little precious bundle cry for the first time. The sight of your baby will bring you delight and fill you with love. Or maybe it will not. Maybe you will be exhausted both physically and emotionally. I have been blessed to have four babies and all four times it was different.
After the birth of my first baby the nurse held her up and asked me if I wanted to hold her. I heard myself give a firm and fearful sounding “No.” The nurse looked shocked and then laid my baby on top of me. I felt joy when I saw her little face and will forever be thankful the nurse did not listen to me. Why did I decline to hold her? I have no idea. The response came before thought. After having her I felt calmness.
When my second baby was born I was very anxious to hold him. I thought the doctors were taking too long to check him over and hand him to me. Once I held him I never wanted to let go. He was a joy from the first minute and would remain that way for the next 12 years.
Baby number three was a more difficult and longer birth than the two before. I was exhausted and felt defeated as I could barely push. Finally she entered the world and all I could think about was going to sleep. I did not want visitors. I did not want balloons and flowers. I wanted rest. Even the sight of her beautiful face was not enough to keep me from falling asleep.
The first three births were quite different than my fourth. My fourth was the worst labor experience I had. No, there were no major complications. I did not need a C-section. The baby was fine. She was difficult compared to my experiences alone. I had experience a few false labors and an induction that did not result in labor. When I finally went into labor it was very painful and very long. I experienced a little bit of panic when it was time to push. As if I forgot what I was doing. No one knew as I was nothing but silent. After I finally had her I was happy it was over. I was thrilled to see her. But then I became irritable. I was very uncomfortable, exhausted and did not to see anyone. I felt like I could not move from the epidural and visitors came too quickly. I felt blah and feared that is how I would remain. But I did not. I felt joy.
My point is that you may experience a vast array of emotions and that is okay. Give yourself time and do not feel obligated to anyone.