I imagine that all of us wrestle with feelings of inadequacy at one time or another and it is not just us single parents who fight the battle. Still, as single parents, it can often feel like we are climbing up that steep hill with a big rock on our backs and not doing a very good job of it to boot. Where can we go with feelings inadequacy and what can be done to stop them?
Personally, I have found that when I succumb to those feelings of inadequacy, I tend to be focusing on external things to define my worth and identity. I am looking at my bank balance, the size of my house, my children’s activities, my work world, etc. and when it doesn’t seem to measure up I simply try harder to achieve things. Of course, linking our sense of worth to our achievements is a trap and for me it gets all tangled up with fear, worries about failure, and feeling like I will just never measure up to other people’s (and my own) expectations.
The only way I have learned to combat those feelings of inadequacy is to work on my self esteem and to build up my sense of self-worth as a person–not based on what I do or what I have. Giving and sharing love, focusing in on all the joys and wonderful things I do have in my life, and focusing on the life lessons and the processes can help me take my mind off of the “score sheet” and feel strong in who I am as a person. As a single parent, I already face some judgment from society and some challenges that others might not face, if I can be gentle and compassionate with myself instead of letting those external factors get to me, I can hold back those feelings of inadequacy.
Also: Overwhelmed and Inadequate?