When starting out our adoption journey, my husband and I found the waiting to be difficult. One moment we needed to submit documentation right away to be processed, then in another moment, we would find our selves waiting wondering if we were forgotten. We believed once we had our child in our home, the waiting for finalization wouldn’t be hard.
When our first son was placed in our home, I can’t explain the joy we felt in becoming parents! We had waited 19 months from the day of our first orientation class, for the placement of our son. There was a wait prior to this as well as we wavered between adopting and trying to conceive. Though we were happy and becoming a family, there was an unsettling feeling too.
Though we didn’t wait long for our second son, we desperately hoped for his case to come to a close. Unlike with our first son, our littlest was not yet legally freed for adoption (the termination of parental rights were pending). I would feel guilty at times for complaining about the wait. I suppose it was because I felt I should just be thankful we at least had our kids in our home; I didn’t feel I had a right to complain when so many other families were still waiting.
The thing is, after a child is in your home and while you’re waiting for all the documentation of the placement and the paperwork to be processed, the child is not legally yours, rather a ward of the state. Our family lived across the state line and in order to bring the kids to visit them, we had to get a travel pass from the state. We also had monthly visits from case workers who needed to see our children. It just didn’t feel normal.
The wonderful day approached for each of our boys where we would get to enter court and watch the judge sign the adoption decree which would officially free us to be our own family. With our first son, I wasn’t sure what to think after finalization. I had a hard time believing it was really over. With our second son, because his case was so drawn out and emotionally difficult, my husband and I felt released and freed. It was the most amazing feeling to know our son was finally ours. After his finalization, we left the country and took a trip to Canada. It can’t explain how liberating it was to leave anywhere we wanted and not have to tell anyone.
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog