My kids are not so snuggly any more. We’ve moved through what I hope will be remembered as the snarkiest years of teenagehood and they can stand to be in the same room with me. But those snuggly, hugging days are pretty much long gone. Now I have to be a bit stealthier and pay attention to those rare opportunities when a hug is in order.
Birthdays are good for at least one hug. Even a teenager is willing to entertain a big birthday hug from the annoying mother. As a matter of fact, any time a gift is given is a pretty good opportunity to extract a hug.
The other day while I was standing in the kitchen frosting a cake, my son walked in and put his arm around my shoulders loosely, hugging me from the side, and said, “How was your day, Mom?” Well, as you might imagine I just about died from the sheer sweetness of it (that’s how desperate I’ve become, I tell you). Of course, I held my composure, knowing full well that to make a big fuss over it would pretty much ensure that I wouldn’t get another such hug for half a decade. Instead, we both acted like it was the most ordinary thing for a fifteen-year-old son and his forty-year-old mother to do—standing there in the kitchen, eye-to-eye, having a casual hug.
So, hugs haven’t disappeared from our world altogether, although they are certainly not as plentiful as they once were. Ah, those days when I actually got aggravated and felt as though I was always draped with the hugging children! Still, we find excuses for the hug—coming and going: when someone is heading off for a week away or a weekend outing with friends, holidays, and, now, I have the occasional side-by-side kitchen hug to look forward to. I just have to make sure that I don’t appear as though I am expecting it…
Also: Can We Have a Little More Optimism, Please?
Getting the Teens to Talk to Me–It’s Feast or Famine
You Can Sit Here–But Don’t Talk to Me!