When I got divorced I thought I was never going to find happiness again. I thought that the only thing that could possibly make me happy was to have my little family together. That first month after the split I could hardly get out of bed in the mornings. How was I supposed to take care of this little two and a half year old baby if I couldn’t even take care of myself anymore? I was completely devastated. I felt like my one chance at happiness had just walked out the door.
Time went on and I realized that having my family together the way that it was had made me more miserable than I had ever been. I just didn’t see it until I was on the outside looking back in. I realized that this was my second chance. I looked at Logan one day and realized that I was happier than I had ever been. Even in the midst of all that chaos I was able to find joy in my son. As time went on I started to find joy in other things. I was moving forward with my life. I was doing the things that I knew I needed to be doing. I was working, going to school, and being a mother and that brought me joy.
I realized that I couldn’t rely on someone else to make me happy. I had to find it within myself. If someone came along down the line that was fine, but I could never be happy unless I found it on my own first. I had to be ok with who I was, what I was doing, and where I was going. Spending the time with my son and finding myself again was one of the greatest experiences of my life. It was a long road to get there, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world because finally I can say that we have found joy and we couldn’t be happier.