The one thing first time moms are not short on is advice. Advice comes from all different sources, packages and places. It comes from your well meaning aunt, best friend, clerk at the store, mother in law, sister, sister in law and we cannot forget mom. It seems everyone has something to say about raising a baby. They appear to be waiting in line to tell you just when to nurse or not to nurse or when to feed your baby cereal or how to put your baby to bed. With conflicting stories and old wives tales running through your head the process of raising a baby just became more confusing. What do you do?
Prepare in Advance: Most moms begin to think about being a mom well before the positive pregnancy test. However, a positive pregnancy test brings a new light on things as reality hits. You begin to think about if you will nurse or bottle feed, co-sleep or use a crib, attachment parenting or not, etc. Research all the issues and decide for yourself what suits your lifestyle, personality and situation. No need to make hard and fast decisions but having some ideas of what you are comfortable with will provide a framework and point you in the direction of who to ask for advice.
Decide on Who You Trust: Since everyone from the cab driver to your neighbor will give you advice you will need a way to cut out the weeds. Not everyone gives good advice even if they sound like they were in your exact situation. Decide who you trust and who to call when you are in need of advice.
Be Understanding: Try to understand that those who give unsolicited advice most likely mean well. Some may just like the sound of their own voice. However, most of the time it is not because these people do not respect you or think you are a bad parent.
Show Gratitude: Be thankful for those who care enough to offer their well meaning advice. Never feel you have to use their advice or argue that you found a better way. Just say “thank you” and move on. Most just want to be heard so allow it to a point. The point you do not allow it would be if this person insults you. You also do not need to listen to someone go on and on about a subject. You can simply say “thank you” and change the subject.
Smile and Nod: The “smile and nod” technique works best for strangers in the store or when you are out and about. The times when you know a conversation will not ensue if you do not pursue it. Again, most just want to be heard or enjoy sharing something they found helpful themselves.
Sometimes the overwhelming amount of advice is hard to sift through or it can make you feel like others think you are a failure as a mom. Sift through advice by knowing how your trust and what methods of parenting you have decided to follow. Never think you are failing based on advice coming your way. All first time moms are overloaded with advice and it rarely is intended to make you feel inferior.